Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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