if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
