isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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