That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
