my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
