Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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