And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
