I just made out with a guy for $7.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
