id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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