My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
