Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
