this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
