I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
