went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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