you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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