Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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