Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
