I think I won the penis lottery.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
