I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
