I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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