Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
