She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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