:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
