I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Randomize
