and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
