Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
