Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Still dying that you shit outside
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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