the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
