Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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