Im at strip club and am horny
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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