this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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