i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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