Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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