The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
