This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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