There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
