My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
