:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
