to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
