just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
