Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
