the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
