I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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