we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
BRING THE BAGELS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
