Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
love makes seman taste better
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
