just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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