what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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