how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
