its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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