why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
