my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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